Empowering GenX Moms and Dads
Hi Everyone,
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about turning 50 this year and all the feels that go with that. It brought up some fun reflections on what being part of Gen X means to me and how it has shaped me personally and professionally.
I thought about how growing up in the 1980’s has influenced me in many profound ways and thought it was interesting that I haven’t specifically sought out to help my own generation. I was listening to a podcast interview where the therapist shared that she is part of the “sandwich” generation. That term was new to me! We are part of the generation that is both caring for older parents and our own children. All underneath the umbrella of neglecting our own emotional, physical and spiritual health.
Ever feel like that character in the Atari game, “Pitfall”? As if sometimes there are no great options…
Being a Gen X parent comes with its own set of challenges, from juggling family responsibilities to managing careers and personal ambitions. However, one common struggle that many in our generation face is putting their own needs last and falling into the trap of people-pleasing. In this blog post, we'll explore how Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can empower Gen X moms and dads to prioritize self-care and break free from people-pleasing tendencies.
Understanding the Challenge:
Gen X parents often find themselves constantly striving to meet the needs and expectations of others, whether it's their children, partners, extended family, or colleagues. This relentless need to please others can lead to burnout, stress, and a sense of losing oneself in the process. It’s no wonder we are tired, crabby and doom-scrolling on our phones! We can all learn better ways to cope with these stressors.
Coping Strategies:
CBT: Identify and Challenge Negative Thought Patterns CBT teaches us to recognize and challenge negative thought patterns that fuel people-pleasing behaviors. We can start by identifying the core beliefs that drive their need to please others, such as "I must always be there for everyone," or "If I say no, I'm being selfish." Once these beliefs are identified, CBT techniques can be used to challenge and reframe them into healthier, more balanced perspectives. If you’d like to learn more in depth CBT skills, reach out for a chat with me.
Mindfulness: Cultivate Present-Moment Awareness Mindfulness practices can help Gen X parents cultivate present-moment awareness and become more attuned to their own needs and emotions. Encourage yourself to engage in daily mindfulness activities such as mindful breathing, body scans, or mindful walking. By staying present and mindful, they can make conscious choices that prioritize self-care. Check out my guided breathing exercises here:
DBT: Develop Assertiveness Skills Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) emphasizes the importance of developing assertiveness skills to establish healthy boundaries and communicate effectively. Moms and Dads can benefit from DBT by learning how to say no without guilt, expressing their needs and preferences clearly, and setting realistic expectations for themselves and others. I love working with GenX-ers around boundaries!
Self-Compassion: Practice Kindness Toward Oneself Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness and understanding. Remind yourself daily that it's okay to prioritize your well-being, set limits, and take breaks when needed. Self-compassion can help counteract feelings of guilt or self-criticism associated with prioritizing self-care. In generations before ours, they were encouraged to squash needs and grit through difficulties, so this may feel foreign if you grew up like I did.
Seek Support and Connection Remember to seek support from peers, friends, or a therapist who understands that being GenX brings unique challenges. Connecting with others who share similar experiences can provide validation, empathy, and practical strategies for coping with people-pleasing tendencies.
As Gen X parents we are navigating the complexities of modern-day parenting, caring for aging parents and advancing in our careers, it's crucial for us to prioritize self-care and break the cycle of people-pleasing patterns. By incorporating techniques from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), we can empower ourselves to set boundaries, practice self-compassion, and cultivate a healthier balance between caring for others and caring for ourselves.
Remember, self-care is not selfish—it's a necessary foundation for overall well-being and resilience.
